How to Overcome Your Fears of Rejection
The fear of rejection and failure is the single greatest obstacle to success in adult life. Taken to its extreme, we become totally preoccupied with not making a mistake, with seeking approval for security above all other considerations.
The experience of the fear of failure is in the words of “I can’t”, I can’t.”
We feel it in the front of the body, starting at the solar plexus and moving up to the rapid beating of the heart, rapid breathing, and a tight throat.
Fear of rejection interferes with performance and inhibits expression. We learn this when our parents make their love conditional upon our behavior. If we do what pleases them, they give us love and approval. If we do something they don’t like, they withdraw their love and approval-which we interpret as rejection.
As adults, people raised with conditional love become preoccupied with the opinions of others.
Many men develop Type A behavior which is characterized by hostility, suspicion and an obsession with performance to some undetermined high standard. This is expressed in the attitude of “I have to, I have to,” and is associated with the feeling that “I have to work harder and accomplish more in order to please the boss,” who has become a surrogate parent.
More than 99% of adults experience both these fears of failure and rejection. They are caught in the trap of feeling, “I can’t, but “I have to,” “I have to,” but “I can’t.”
Learn to Love Yourself
The antidote to these fears is the development of courage, character, and self-esteem.
The opposite of fear is actually love, self-love, and self-respect. Acting with courage in a fearful situation is simply a technique that boosts our regard for ourselves to such a degree that our fears subside and lose their ability to affect our behavior and our decisions.
One of the most powerful techniques ever developed to overcoming fear, and relieving stress is called the “worry buster.”
Many people have come back to me and said that this simple method has changed their attitudes from negative to positive and enabled them to be more effective in their work and their personal lives than they had ever thought possible.
Here are the 4 steps of my formula:
1. Define the Problem in Writing
Step one is to define the problem or situation you are worrying about clearly in writing.
The best way to do this is to take a pad of paper and draw a line from …read more
Content Curated From: : Brian Tracy